The Care and Maintenance of Mummies

PETFUN Mummy Quick sheet (developed with and approved by a qualified veterinarian)

Name: Mummy (human)
Average size: Varies
Life Span: When properly cared for, up to 50 years, depending on age of mummy when purchased.

Signs of a healthy Mummy:

*Does not flinch or struggle to get away when you touch or stroke him.
*Tries to get close to you when you get close to it.
*Does not cry, moan, scream, or weep.
*Shows interest, either in eye movement (if unwrapped) or in trying to listen to what's going on around it.

Is a Mummy the right pet for you?

Circle "Yes" or "No"

1. I have a dedicated location and enough space for a mummy. Yes / No
2. I will dedicate most of my waking hours to caring for my mummy, being with it and stimulating it so it does not grow bored. Yes / No
3. I can commit to taking care of a mummy for life. Yes / No
4. I want my pet mummy to be happy and content, and will do everything I can to providing these. Yes / No

Recommended Mummy Supplies (available at your local PETFUN store)

1. A coffin, either built for one or two.
2. Bedding, either blankets, sheets, or specially cut mattresses
3. High quality food and water
4. A book about taking care of mummies
5. Toys
6. An IV system
7. A tube feeding system
8. Extra and Replacement wrapping
9. A gag (ball or inflatable is recommended)
10. Vitamins and minerals

Pet Description:

A mummy is a human being that has been completely wrapped up, bound, and encased, almost always in a certain type of wrapping, almost always in bandages. Occasionally one can find a mummy wrapped in plaster, but this is very, very rare as such mummies are harder to care for. The average mummy for sale on the pet market is a bandage wrapped one, and the one most recommended for the beginner.

The mummies currently on the market today are distinguished from ancient mummies in the fact that they are alive, not dead. The practice of mummification was invented many years ago when human pets were introduced on the market. During the process of taming, it was discovered that humans operated best when kept constantly restrained, but in a manner that is pleasing to them. Therefore, it was not long before all sorts of human pets appeared on the market, ranging from rubber to straight jacketed, but mummies remain one of the most popular, and are thus in high demand. A mummy is made when a person is surgically prepared for the process, then wrapped up and encased into a very tight cocoon. Most of the time, this wrapping is complete from head to toe, though occasionally the head or feet may be left unwrapped, but this is uncommon.

Given their nature of being wrapped up, mummies are completely helpless and unable to use their arms and legs. However, they can still achieve a certain amount of movement such as wiggling and squirming, but exactly how much depends on the wrapping. There are three types of wrapped mummies.

1. Lightly wrapped: Lightly wrapped mummies are usually wrapped up in two or three layers of bandages. They have a relatively high amount of movement, able to squirm and wiggle and roll around if given the opportunity.

2. Medium wrapped: Medium wrapped mummies are defined as being wrapped up in four to seven layers of wrappings. Their ability to move is very limited, usually to only the smallest wiggle or squirm. They can barely roll, if at all.

3. Heavily wrapped: Heavily wrapped mummies are wrapped head to toe in eight to ten layers of wrapping. These mummies cannot move at all, and thus are completely unable to do anything.

It is important to note that no matter how much movement a mummy has, it is still completely dependant upon you, its owner, for care. A completely immobile mummy needs as much care as one that can wiggle around.

Diet:

A healthy diet for a mummy includes a mixture of meats, fruits and vegetables, complete with sources of fiber and protein, as well as a very large mix of vitamins and minerals. Mummies can be fed virtually any kind of food that a normal human can consume, but make sure your mummy does not have allergies to any food items you are feeding it, as an allergic reaction could be fatal. Be sure to check your pet for allergies when you first buy it.

Your pet mummy must also be given fresh water everyday. Milk should also be given daily, with carbonated beverages and other types of drinks given occasionally. NEVER give your mummy alcoholic beverages such as beer or wine.

To feed your pet mummy, you may grind his (or her) food in a blender, then pump it into the food tube that leads into the mouth. As mummies prefer food having a flavor, be sure to add flavorings to your mummy's food. He will thank you for it (but not verbally, as a mummy should be gagged or taped at all times)!

To give your mummy fluids, do the same as above, only more frequently, as a mummy needs much more hydration then a normal human does, given their situation of being wrapped up completely at all times. Be careful however, not to give too many liquids at one time, so your mummy will not choke or drown. Consider using an IV line to hydrate your mummy (though this will take away the satisfaction of actually drinking fluids, but you may want to do it if safety is at stake).

Housing:

The advantages of a mummy is that he will need very little housing. Most often, a coffin or sarcophagus will do just fine. It is small, tight, and confining, which can be soothing to a bound mummy, giving him the sense of being in a warm, dark womb. However, be careful that the coffin does not overheat or get too cold (though the latter is very rare), as a hot coffin can be a deathtrap to your tightly and thickly wrapped mummy. The coffin should never be kept in direct sunlight, no matter how dramatic or sensual it may look.

The coffin can be constructed out of many, many different materials. Classic wood, hard and shiny plastic, glass, are just a few of the many options available to you. But no matter what the coffin is constructed of, IT MUST HAVE A CONSTANT SUPPLY OF AIR! Your mummy could die from asphyxiation if you aren't careful! Be sure to have some holes drilled into the coffin, which can be covered with mesh to disguise them from the naked eye.

For bedding, all that is needed is cushioning within the coffin. Mummies, in general, do not like having a hard surface beneath them, as it can make long term confinement very uncomfortable. Therefore, line the coffin with either blankets or a specially cut mattress. A pillow for your mummy's head is a good idea, as it will cradle the head and keep it supported during sleep. You may line the coffin with materials such as satin, silk, or PVC, but again, be cautious of over-heating. Just because you love locking your mummy into a coffin doesn't mean you aren't responsible for his safety!

Depending on how big the coffin is, it can be used for just one mummy. This is the standard size for most coffins in the pet market. There are however, coffins that can store up to three mummies at a single time. Mummies cannot resist or protest when housed with other mummies, so if storage is your only concern, and you have a tight budget, you can house multiple mummies together in a large coffin. They can't attack each other, so don't worry about your pets fighting each other. If you want your mummy to be happier however, consider having your coffins being no larger then sized for two.

If you don't feel like buying a coffin, you can always allow your pet to sleep in a bed, or in your own bed if you feel like it. Lab tests have shown that mummies generally prefer to sleep with another person, most likely for the sense of warmth and companionship. Furthermore, most mummy owners report it extremely satisfying to curl up with their pets at night and sleep with them. Just be very cautious however, that your mummy can't roll out of bed and fall to the ground. Being wrapped up, it is impossible for them to stop a fall, so you may want to consider using straps to hold your pet down at night.

Housing Maintenance:

If your mummy sleeps in a bed or in your own bed, simply clean the bed sheets as often as needed, usually once a week. If your mummy sleeps in a coffin, clean the bedding and lining at least once a week. In general, coffins need very little maintenance, needing only to be wiped down and washed once a year to maintain their stylish look. If you have a wood coffin, you will have to inspect it occasionally for termites or rot.

Grooming and Hygiene:

Being wrapped up, mummies do not require much in the way of maintenance. In the past, mummies needed to be unwrapped and washed daily, but thanks to today's technology, this is no longer necessary. With high tech wrappings and odor-absorbing bandages, mummies can be kept completely wrapped up for up to a standard earth year without needing to be cleaned. Furthermore, all mummies put up for sale MUST undergo surgery to reduce their sweat, body odor, and grime output. This makes cleaning and grooming your mummy very easy. More often then not, the most you will have to do is brush off any dust your mummy may accumulate.

However, it is still necessary to do occasional maintenance. A mummy must still have its teeth cleaned once a year (though they can be removed surgically, but this practice is still hotly debated as to if it is cruel or not), and it must occasionally be cleaned. Furthermore, no type of bandage or sheet can remain on a mummy for the rest of its life, no matter how sexually exciting the idea of being wrapped for life may be. You WILL have to change your mummy's wrappings during its lifetime.

To do so, it is recommended that you take your mummy to your nearest pet cleaner. There your mummy will be put to sleep, unwrapped, cleaned, and then re-wrapped in fresh bandages. When he awakes, your mummy will find himself still wrapped, only in fresh and clean bandages. He is sure to appreciate the feeling of a new cocoon around him.

Male or Female? One or two?:

When someone wishes to purchase a human mummy for a pet, certain questions must be answered. Do you want a single, solitary mummy all to yourself, or do you want two? Furthermore, do you want your pet to be male or female?

With humans being social animals, it only makes sense that, even when wrapped up, they are happier when they have one of their own kind with them. And to some degree this is true. Two mummies living together can improve the happiness and contentment factor…but how much depends on if the mummies are related or not.

Two unrelated mummies living together will have a slight increase in happiness. Each one will be aware of the other, but unless they are allowed to spend time together, their interaction is understandably limited. Two related mummies however, are much, much more likely to have a boost in happiness when both of them are living together. A mummy who is living with a blood relative or their loved ones is more likely to be happy in their situation.

One point that must be emphasized is that occasionally you will find a mummy couple. These mummies were husband and wife before being captured and wrapped up. You can tell who is a couple if the mummies stay together as much as possible in the terrarium, and if one is taken out, the other will show great distress and sadness, sometimes trying to follow their mate. If you choose a mummy that has a mate, it is very highly recommend that you take the other mate as well. If you purchase the couple, they will be happier that they are together. Buying only one and leaving its mate is generally cruel, as you will be separating a couple who love each other.

However, a mummy can also live happily on its own. One mummy will generally be happy and content as long as it spends plenty of time with you and receives much attention.

As to the question of gender, it is quite simple. A male mummy is distinguished by a slight bulge near its crotch. A female mummy will have a pair of breasts. In mummification, both genders have similar behaviors, though at times the males can be more aggressive and females are generally more docile, but be warned that they can be just as temperamental and aggressive as males. But with time, care, and lots of affection, both genders can settle down and be calm and quiet pets.

So the question remains: Do you buy one mummy or two? Male or female? In general, if you spend a lot of time at home and have lots of time to devote to your pet, you might want to consider getting one mummy. If you dearly want a pet but spend a good time away from home, then purchase two, for two will be able to keep each other company. Leaving a lone mummy alone and at home for very long periods of time is cruel and inhumane. Which gender your mummy will be is entirely up to you.

Play and interaction:

When you purchase a mummy, please be aware that your pet is, for the most part, entirely helpless and is completely dependant upon you for all it's needs, including attention and play. A bored mummy is an unhappy mummy, which can subsequently lead to health problems. Therefore, perhaps the most vital part of owning a mummy is keeping it occupied and interested in what is going on around it.

It is IMPERATIVE that a mummy be mentally stimulated throughout its day, whether it is from being picked up and carried around, to watching films, to being held and stroked. The important thing is that you KEEP IT OCCUPIED. As a mummy is completely wrapped and helpless, he needs to be kept occupied, otherwise he will become bored out of his mind and eventually sink into depression from monotony. If a mummy is to be kept in good health, he must be stimulated.

How do you do that with a mummy? There are several ways and techniques, some of which we will list here:

1. Take your mummy for a walk: Strap your mummy to a stroller and roll him through the local park or around the block a few times. Or better yet, strap him to your body and carry him with you. Studies have shown that mummies being carried on the bodies of their owners are usually more calm and restful, most likely from the feeling of being carried like a baby. And if your mummy's eyes are unwrapped, he can observe his surroundings.

2. Watch a movie with him: Prop your mummy up on the sofa, curl up with him and watch a movie. It's preferable to have his eyes unwrapped so he can see the film along with you.

3. Read him a book or a story: All humans like stories, and mummies are no exception. Even if they cannot understand what you are saying a soft, soothing voice can calm them down. When reading or speaking to your mummy, he may not understand what you are saying, but the tone of your voice can soothe and keep him occupied.

4. Take them to work or on vacation with you: If your mummy is constantly taken to new and exciting destinations, he will be much more interested and excited about what is going on. Furthermore, if you do this every day, your mummy will look forward to each new day with a great amount of excitement, wondering where he will be taken to.

5. Hug and stroke them: Perhaps the simplest but most effective thing you can do with your mummy is to give him affection. Gently hold him with one arm and slowly stroke him with the other. Gently but firmly hold him close to your body and rock him slowly. Lie down next to him, hold him close, and just lie there with him. Though very simple, these activities have been shown to have a very noticeable effect on the happiness and contentment level of human mummies, and even on humans themselves. It can be done for hours at a time, costs nothing, and has great benefits for both parties.

Sex:

Humans are very sexual creatures by nature, and with that in mind, inevitably the question comes up: Should I allow my mummy to have sex? While it is possible, it cannot be done for breeding purposes. By law, all mummies, male and female, are neutered before being put on the market, so as to avoid what would be a complicated situation if one mummy was to become pregnant. Furthermore, it is currently illegal to turn people into mummies if they are under twenty one years of age. And furthermore, it is done to prevent cruelty when an infant would have to be taken away from the mother when she cannot raise it.

If your mummy is a legal one, he or she will be neutered, and thus can have sexual intercourse without fear of pregnancy. The question of whether or not they will be allowed to have sex is up to you. Mummies can, with removal of certain bandages, have sex with each other (for a detailed reference of this, please see the book "My mummy lover and I" by Gabe Chonkers), and they can also have sex with you, should you desire it. The area of mummy/ people sex is a complicated one, but in generally you are allowed to do it if your pet consents. As of this writing, it is still being debated exactly how a mummy gives consent, but if he does not attempt to wiggle away from you or clearly shows distress, then it is best not to attempt intercourse.

Living with your mummy and the later years

Unlike most pets, mummies are very long lived as humans live an average of seventy years. Therefore, a wrapped human being, if properly cared for, with plenty of stimulation, care, feeding, and affection, a mummy can live for up to fifty years. The challenge of later life comes into play when a mummy usually passes the age of sixty. Due to circumstances that are not entirely clear at the time of this writing, most mummies usually pass away around this age. Scientists have theorized that this is due to the body failing after being restrained for so long, but the issue is still being looked into.

When your mummy gets older, moving him around will become more difficult, as his bones and body structure will become more and more fragile. Therefore, it is best to keep your mummy in one spot and do a daily routine of small movements to prevent bed sores. Continue the daily routine of feeding, watering, and draining, but most likely, it will happen in smaller doses. Continue seeing your veterinarian if conditions arise.

Parting thoughts

Mummies are among the most care intensive pets on the market today, with supplies and equipment sometimes costing upwards into thousands of dollars over a lifetime. When you take a mummy into your household, you must be prepared to make a long term commitment to your pet.

However, mummies, when properly cared for, can become very engaging and amazingly affectionate pets. They can provide hours of delight for their owner, and usually end up becoming a treasured part of a family.

So while the setbacks about having a mummy are great, most owners agree that the benefits of such a pet far, far outweigh the negative costs.

07.08.07