Chapter 22: Strange feelings
The days passed, and I was so comfortable and enjoying my commitment at the hospital that it was hard to remember what it was like to be on the outside. I asked Amanda about this feeling. Amanda told me it was pretty typical. “They call this effect institutionalization. But not to worry and enjoy the feeling. It will soon go away when you get out and return to the real world.” The odd thing was I was starting to feel the real world was a lot more frightening than here in the hospital.
After a nice day, I spent time in the day room watching the other patients and talking to Kate, the therapist. I was back in my cell, strapped into my hospital bed and fed, and tucked in for the night.
I had just slipped into sleep, when I started awake at hearing the lock of my door slide and the door opening.
“Hello Brian, are you hiding in here?” called out Kelly.
The light came on, and Kelly, with a big smile, walked in carrying a pack.
“Brian this is where you have been hiding out! Come with me if you want to go have some fun!” said Kelly with a Cheshire cat smile.
“OK, but only if you untie me,” I said.
“OK, but only because you asked nicely. I have some clothes for you to wear, so we can go to our room in the pit and have some fun!”
Kelly quickly started unstrapping me from my hospital bed. She helped me up to my feet and gave me a big hug and kiss.
Next, Kelly told me to remove my suicide gown and diaper, then sit down. I did as I was told. Kelly walked up to me and placed her hands on my upper legs.
“Well, Brian, I love how you’re getting so compliant. I love controlling you, and I think you like it too,” said Kelly with a sexy voice.
“I do!” I said.
“I am glad! I enjoy having you here! I love keeping you in restraints. I knew when you asked me to get you committed for the weekend that you would really thrive in this environment, and you have,” Kelly said.
“I really am enjoying my stay. I love that you're here to care for and watch over me.”
Kelly started removing my catheter by deflating the balloon inside me, then gently pulling it out.
Once I was all cleaned up she gave me some underwear to put on.
“Brian, what will we do after you get out of here next year?” asked Kelly, looking up at me.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, we will not be able to spend as much time together as we do now,” Kelly said.
“True, but most of the time, I am strapped into a hospital bed or wheelchair!” I said.
“Yes, but Brian, you don’t know what a turn-on it is for me. It makes these nights that we spend together even more amazing!” Kelly said with love in her eyes.
I said, “maybe we can set up a room in my place with a hospital bed and all the supplies. That way, you can keep me as your patient on the weekends that you come over.”
“Well, that sounds good, but I am not sure that would be enough,” Kelly said with a sexy smile! “But we will see,” she added!
After getting the underwear on, Kelly handed me a repairman’s uniform. I quickly got the pants and shirt on, then socks and shoes. It felt odd to be in clothes and real shoes.
“OK, Brian, here is a black eye patch to cover your droopy eye and fake mustache.” After putting on my disguise, Kelly added a ball cap and a tool belt.
“OK, Brian, you’re now the night repairman! Just remember, you can’t say a word. I will do all the talking!” Kelly said.
“Okey-dokey!” I said
Then we were off and heading for the basement cells.
Chapter 23: Down to the underworld
We moved quietly through the long hallways towards the old parts of the institution. We passed two nurses making their rounds. Kelly said hello to them. I just waved.
I realized that I was much more comfortable in the patient persona than as a non-patient nowadays.
We got to the large iron door to the lower level, known as the pit. Kelly pulled the large key out of my tool belt, looked around, and then stuck the key in the lock and opened the door. I couldn’t help noticing how smoothly and silently the big door opened. We walked in and then shut the door and locked it behind us.
We walked down the narrow stairs to the hallway. We then proceeded down the hallway to our cell. Kelly opened it up, and I walked in. I immediately saw there was some new equipment in the cell.
I turned to Kelly as she locked the cell door and said, “someone had been redecorating.”
Kelly smiled and said, “Well, I thought I may have to secure such a dangerous patient like you!”
I looked at the very old narrow hospital bed. It had hand cranks to move the mattress up and down. I then saw the full complement of medical restraints. They were the old-style medical restraints. Three heavy wide leather belts across the bed and attached to the bed frame. The belt near the foot of the bed had two thick padded leather ankle cuffs, the middle one had a padded leather waist belt, and on the sides two padded leather wrist cuffs, and on the top wide belt, there was a padded leather chest belt. On all the straps and cuffs, they had locks that used keys.
“So, do I get to strap you down?” I asked.
“Well, maybe later, I have a few things I would like to do to you, in restraints, of course! So strip, patient,” she said with a sexy smile!
I did what I was told!
I lay down in the bed. The smell of leather was intoxicating. Kelly took her time adjusting my body to just where she wanted me to be on the bed and carefully secured my legs and arms in the leather cuffs, then locking all of the locks. Then she placed the waist belt across my waist and pulled it tight. When the same with the chest belt before finally locking both.
“I think that should hold you,” Kelly said with a wicked smile!
After I was strapped down in the bed, Kelly took off her clothes very slowly. I got extremely turned on, and Kelly smiled at me.
Kelly said in a sexy voice, “I see someone missed me!”
She runs her hands down my body and smiles, then says, “delicious looking!” Then she checks my straps, tugging on them to ensure they are tight and locked.
“Well, I think you’re secured, so now I can have my way with you, Mr. Murphy!” Kelly said with a sexy smile.
Kelly jumped on me, straddling me and playing with my member.
Kelly smiled and said in a pouting voice, “I guess you think I am going to do all the work, don’t you? Well, you’d be wrong, my little patient!”
Then she hopped over my member and slid her cooch into my face and told me to get to work with my tongue. I did as I was told with great enthusiasm. After some time and a lot of screaming from Kelly, she slid off and laid next to me and played with my strapped down and restrained body!
“Well, Brian, after I get my breath back, I’ll take care of you!” Kelly said with a breathless voice.
Minutes later, Kelly jumped up and swung her leg over me, and screamed “giddyup, cowboy!” During the following hours, Kelly made very energetic love to me. It was amazing! Kelly was like a wild animal, devouring me! We both came multiple times. In the end, Kelly collapsed on me, and we both fell into a deep sleep.
Sometime later, the alarm on Kelly’s phone started beeping.
“Bummer! Sorry my love, but Brian, it’s time to get you back to your isolation cell,” said Kelly with a very groggy voice.
Kelly crawled off me and started unstrapping me from the bed.
Kelly asked with a devilish smile, “So was that good for you too?”
I looked at her and said in the best voice I could, “Oh my god, that was amazing!”
She smiled and winked and said, “I thought so too!”
We both quickly got our clothes on. Kelly pulled up long dark hair into a bun and pulled her cap on, and said, “OK, let’s get you back to your cell before the morning patient checks start.”
We took off and locked the cell door and climbed the stairs, and off down the hallways back to the isolation ward and my cell.
Patty greeted us at my cell door and said, “you two like to cut it close. Let’s get you back into patient mode Mr. Murphy.”
I started to remove my repairman disguise. I have become entirely comfortable being undressed in front of the girls. Because this is part of being a mental patient, with no modesty and no control. Patty had me sit down on the bed and quickly and efficiently inserted the catheter tube into me, then inflated the balloons and attached the tube to the catheter bag at the end of the bed. Kelly packed up my repairman uniform as Patty placed me in a diaper and my suicide gown. I laid down on my bed as Kelly started strapping me down. After a minute, I was completely back to normal, strapped down to my bed in six-point restraints. Brian was gone. Mr. Murphy was back.
Patty said, “Well guys, I have to go check on some other patients, so I will bring back your breakfast later.” Patty left my cell and tightly closed the door behind her.
Kelly smiled and said, “Well, that was a fun night!”
“Yes! It was truly amazing,” I said with a big smile!
Kelly gave me a long sexy kiss and said, “It’s time for me to check out and go home to get some sleep. I just suggest you do the same, Mr. Murphy.”
She smiled and gave me another kiss, and smiled as she walked out the door and closed it with a thud, and locked it.
Chapter 24: A Walk in the Park
Unknown to me, I was starting the fourth month of my commitment. The time seemed to have no meaning to me here, and it just flows. No deadlines or places to go, or people to see! Life was very peaceful!
Patty opened my cell door and smiled and walked in, shutting the door behind her and locking it. She had a bundle of what looked like red scrubs and a white straightjacket.
Patty said, “Dr. Amanda feels that you need to get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. You are getting a little pale looking!”
We both laughed. I had not seen myself in a mirror for some time, but looking at my own arms, I can see what Patty meant!
Patty removed my restraints, connected my catheter to a leg bag. Then put me in a fresh diaper and handed me my red scrubs. I put the scrubs on, then socks and a pair of red Crocs clogs on. Patty had me stand up and stick my arms out, so she could slide my straightjacket on. Patty then turned me around and started strapping me in. Last item is a pair of leather shackles for my legs.
“Ok, Mr. Murphy, you're ready for your adventure on the hospital grounds. Kelly should be here anytime with your wheelchair, and then we can go,” Patty said.
On cue, the cell door unlocked, and Kelly rolled in with a wheelchair.
“Mr. Murphy, let’s go, it’s time you saw the hospital grounds!” Kelly said with a smile.
I stood up and walked to the wheelchair, turned, and was guided down by Kelly. This wheelchair only had a locking seat belt and a belt across my legs to keep me from kicking. Kelly quickly and efficiently strapped me in. Kelly and Patty pushed me in my wheelchair down and out of the locked ward and along a central hallway for a few minutes.
I said, “I don’t think I've been in this area of the hospital before.”
Kelly said, “You're correct. That’s because you have never been allowed outside of the building onto the hospital grounds before.”
At the end of the hallway was a sally port with a door to the hospital grounds and a desk with a security guard. We rolled to a stop and Patty walked up to the desk and told the guard hi and sign me out, so we could go for my walk outside. Once the guard was finished Kelly pushed my wheelchair through the door and outside. We rolled out into a large patio area with tables, chairs, and lounge chairs. There were a few patients sitting and reading or just relaxing in the beautiful sunshine. Kelly rolled me away from the entrance and parked the wheelchair.
Patty unstrapped me, and Kelly helped me to my feet.
Patty said, “OK, Mr. Murphy, let’s go for a nice walk to get you some exercise and sunshine. Doctor’s orders.”
And so we started walking down a path headed towards the tree line. It was not easy for me with my shackled ankles, but I was getting the hang of it. Still in my straightjacket, Kelly hung on to my arm to guide me and give me some extra balance.
The day was beautiful, and I was glad to be outside. We were walking through the trees on the pathway. After some time passed walking down the beautiful path in the woods, Kelly said “let’s stop here.” We all stopped and I looked around, wondering why we had stopped. I thought maybe Kelly thought I’m getting tired, but I was feeling fine.
Kelly turned and looked at me and said, “I'm going to ask you to do something for me. Do you trust me?”
I looked at Kelly and thought, I let you get me committed to a mental institution, temporarily deformed my face, and made my voice sound retarded yea I would say I trust her.
I said, “yes, why?”
“I am going to ask you to do something for me, really for you. So you need to do it when I tell you! I will explain everything to you later,” said Kelly.
I looked at Kelly and Patty and said OK.
I was not sure what was going on, but I knew I would have to do what they asked, no matter what it was.
Kelly smiled and said, “Great, I want you to run as fast as you can and just keep going!”
I looked at Kelly and said, “What?”
Kelly looked at me, pointed at the path, and yelled, “Run.”
I ran, as fast as I could! Which in shackles was not that fast! Kelly and Patty threw themselves down on the ground.
Kelly started calling on her radio, calling out, “Escape patient, running north on the woods path!”
After letting me get a head start they got up off the ground and dusted themselves off, and started jogging down the trail after me. But before they caught up to me, I was tackled by a hefty security officer who came running out of the woods. I wasn’t knocked out, but I was rattled.
Another two officers came out of the woods and helped the officer who tackled me get me back to my feet. He called out to Kelly and Patty, asking if they were OK? Kelly told them they were OK, but were a little surprised that Mr. Murphy pushed them down and tried to escape.
I shook my head and said in my retarded voice, “I was not trying to escape, a voice told me to run!”
“Well, Mr. Murphy, we call knocking two hospital staff down and running away an escape attempt,” said the security officer!
Kelly asked, “Can you guys take Mr. Murphy to a cell in ward P. I will write up my report.”
Patty said, “I will update his chart and have Dr. Smith, take a look at Mr Murphy.”
The three security officers grabbed me and started to drag me back towards the hospital. I just kept saying I was not trying to escape till they told me to shut up! I was unsure what was happening and why Kelly told me to run. After they got me into the hospital, they took me to a hallway that had a sign saying Ward P. As the security officer opened the door, another officer checked the log book to see what room was available. “Take the patient to cell number P-5.” I was taken down the hallway and stopped in front of the cell marked P-5. The officer put the key into the lock and opened the door.
I told the officers this was not my room!
The officer that tackled me said, “well, it is till the doctor tells you it’s not. That’s what you get for trying to escape from the hospital.”
They unceremoniously pushed me into the padded cell. I tripped and fell to the floor as the door was slammed shut. I lay there and wondered what Kelly was up to.
I wiggled and got myself pushed up in a sitting position against the wall looking towards the door. I thought it’s been a long time since I was in a padded cell.
Sometime later, not sure how long because time really has no meaning here in the mental Institution, the door opened and Dr. Smith walked in.
“Well, hello, Mr. Murphy. I understand that you have been a very bad boy today. Knocking down a nurse and a security officer and trying to run away. You know there is no escape from this institution. Sorry but this will not do, I will have to up your meds or give you more shock therapy,” Amanda said with an evil grin!
I looked up at Amanda and told her, “I didn’t try to escape, Kelly told me to run, and I did. No shock therapy, please.”
Amanda stared at me and said, “well, we could do a frontal lobotomy, and that will stop your issue with trying to run away!”
I was in shock! I looked at Amanda and said, “you’re kidding, right?”
Amanda kept staring at me, looking dead serious!
Finally, she could not hold it back any longer and started busting up laughing!
“Oh, Mr. Murphy, I’m kidding! We are not going to do a lobotomy on you! But you should see your face, it’s precious!” Amanda said as she was trying not to laugh.
“That’s not funny,” I said!
“Sorry, Mr. Murphy, but I couldn't help myself, it’s all in the spirit of fun!”
“OK, you really like scaring the crap out of me! So what’s going on? Why did you have me dragged into this padded cell?” I asked.
“Well, Mr. Murphy, we know how much you like being in restraints, so we are ensuring we can keep you that way. Your friend, Kate, the therapist, has been petitioning my superior to have you removed from the isolation cells and moved into the general population. She said that in the time she’s been talking to you, she feels that you’re no threat at all and should not be kept in restraints. So we staged your escape attempt today,” Amanda said with a smile!
“OK, I understand now. But why not tell me about the plan?” I asked.
“Well, if you would have known, you would not have had that deer in the headlights look of real confusion. We need the other people, the security officers, and nurses, to see that you were not faking it!” Amanda said, clearly very happy with herself.
“So what happens now?” I asked.
“Well, I'm going to sedate you and let you sleep, and you will wake up fully restrained in bed and in your cell, where you belong. All the reports on your violent escape attempt are being added to your patient records as we speak. So now that pesky therapist, Kate, will not be able to get you out of isolation or restraints,” Amanda said with a smile.
“Okey-dokey!” I said.
“Great! I like it when patients are cooperative and don’t fight the treatments we have planned for them!” Amanda said with an evil smile.
She then pulled out a hypodermic needle filled with a solution. She pulled down the side of my scrub pants and pushed the needle into my rear, and injected the solution into my butt. After removing the hypodermic, she laid me over on my side.
“We would not want you to fall over and hurt yourself. Good night sweet patient,” she said in a sweet voice and smiled.
I was out as I hit the floor.
Some time later, I woke up in my cell strapped down to the bed. I was very secure as usual, but more restraints had been added. First, an open face canvas hood like I had worn before was on my head, and a D ring and strap attached it to the headboard of the bed so I could not move my head at all. No gag or blindfold yet, but I’m sure they could add those later if they choose to. My hands were placed in canvas fingerless mittens. I was very secure in my medical restraints.
Some time later the door opened, and Kelly walked in and smiled.
“So now you see you can’t escape from the mental Institution, and if you try it again, your punishment will be worse!” Kelly said with an evil grin.
“First, you call this punishment? Second, I did not try to escape, and you told me to run!” I said in my retarded voice.
Kelly just laughed and said, “well, we needed to keep you from being moved into the general population, and it was the easiest way to do it. You bad little patient! Well, I have to go back to work, sweetie. You be good and don’t wander off!”
“Oh, I think I will just hang out here!” I said.
Kelly bent over and gave me a very deep kiss, then smiled and waved goodbye. She walked out the door and locked it.
I lay there in my hospital strapped down, unable to move, and loving it!
I thought to myself, “I never thought this experience would be as interesting and peaceful as it is.” Then I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 25: Deeper into the rabbit hole
Kelly asked Amanda to meet her for drinks on Friday after work. Kelly told her she wanted to talk over a few things and did not want to do it at work, she wanted a more relaxed venue.
Kelly was already sitting at a corner table waiting for Amanda to arrive. As Amanda walked toward Kelly, she thought to herself that Kelly was a very beautiful woman when she was not in her uniform with all of her hair tucked under her hat.
“Hello Amanda, it’s good to see you outside of work,” Kelly said.
“Hi, you too!” As Amanda sat down, she continued to say, “So what did you want to talk about, is there a problem with Brian?” Amanda said sincerely.
“No, he is doing well and very happy to be staying with us at the hospital. I’m starting to have thoughts about Brian, and I want to talk to you about it,” Kelly said.
Amanda was intrigued by this statement. “Yes, what do you want to talk about?” Amanda said in a sincere voice.
“Well, I really feel that he is enjoying himself at the hospital as a mental patient. The problem is I am starting to enjoy it, to the point I’m not sure if I want to let him out. I love having him locked away in his cell, knowing that I can drop in and he will be there for me. I know it sounds crazy, and I don’t want to hold him captive against his will. I am feeling very conflicted.
Amanda smiled reassuringly at Kelly and said, “My dear, don’t worry, what your feeling is not bad or wrong. You are just getting into Brian’s fantasy, helping him live it, and enjoying the fantasy yourself. You have to remember most normal people or even patients who are not that far gone would never want this, to be a committed mental patient and Incarcerated in a mental institution. In contrast, our Patient wants to be here, Brian wants this experience and wants to be molded into, to be treated as, and to become a mental patient. Just living in the moment. I know this to be true from all the tests I have performed on Brian during his stay with us.”
“So what are you saying? What should I do?” Kelly said, looking a little perplexed.
“I am saying just enjoy the fantasy with Brian. There’s nothing wrong with you enjoying having Brian as a captive boyfriend because he wants to be held here in the hospital,” Amanda said.
“I guess you’re right, but sometimes I feel what I did was wrong, getting him in here,” Kelly confessed.
“Why? You're giving him his greatest fantasy, and he could have left after the first weekend. But he didn’t, he chose to stay. So just enjoy your time with Brian. If you want Brian to stay longer, I’m sure you can persuade him to,” Amanda said with a smile.
Kelly smiled and said, “Okay, I will.”
Amanda said, “Great! I have some ideas on how to get more data from my study of Brian.”
“How?” Kelly said.
“Well, once you told me that you like Brian to be subservient to you. So let’s try some subliminal messages the next time he’s in the wet pack. We can give him some keywords to have Brian to act in different ways, like wanting to serve you or pleasure.
Kelly said, “will that work?”
“There have been a few interesting studies about subliminal messages. The studies concluded that under the right conditions, such as Sensory deprivation, read Wet Pack, the participant could be given behavioral suggestions that turned on or off via a command word. After the session, the subject would obey these when prompted by the command word. So during his next Wet Pack, we will play pre-recorded audio of your voice, giving Brian select behavior suggestions for him to follow when the command word is given. You and I will sit down at the hospital and create these commands. They can be ways that he can pleasure you. Also, commands for if we want Brian to act out and be paranoid. These commands could come in handy to ensure staff who do not know Mr. Murphy’s actual mental state will be convinced that he is truly what he appears to be a committed mental patient.
“Also, I would like to take Brian to the next level of being a mental patient. I would like to take some of Brian's perceived control that he has over his situation away,” Amanda said.
“What do you mean take away his perceived control?” Kelly asked.
Amanda said, “Well, right now, even though Brian is a committed mental patient, he still feels he has some control over what happens to him. I want to take the feeling away. So that he feels like any patient here at the institution, this is to see for my study what changes this will cause in his psyche and overall mood.”
“How would you accomplish this?” Kelly asked with great interest.
“The First step would be to get Brian to feel that he needs someone to make medical decisions for him. So we will get him to sign a power of attorney for you to make all of his medical decisions. This will take away his perceived control of his situation,” Amanda said.
Kelly thought for a moment and said, “I am not sure why he would sign over control to me and would it be legal, after all, he is committed to the mental institution by the state court.”
“Well, you will convince Brian it’s in his best interest as a safeguard for his next Wet Pack will be longer, and we may introduce some more drugs to study his reactions. This, I think, will get him to sign because he will feel that you will be the voice of reason during the test and keep him safe. Yes, you're correct. The Power of attorney is not legal because of Brian’s state commitment to the institution, but Brian doesn’t know that, so it is more symbolic,” Amanda said with a devious smile.
“Yes, I could see that would work,” Kelly said, then took a sip of her wine.
“Ok, then I will have Robin write up some very official-looking paperwork, then you and Brian will need to sign it, and I will sign as the witness. This is important, we need to get Brian to sign the document that we are going to create. It will put Brian into the correct mental state so that we can make his patient experience more real and it will create more accurate data for my study,” Amanda said.
“Amanda, will you be able to reverse the programming when we decide to release Brian?” Kelly asked.
Amanda looked at Kelly directly and said, “why would you want to, it’s not like he will be someone else, he will be himself, just more attentive to you and your needs.”
“It’s just, I’m not sure it’s fair to Brian,” Kelly said.
“Kelly, it's like I told you before, the test results tell us this is the way he wants to be, he just doesn’t know how to ask for it,” Amanda said sincerely.
“Okay, Amanda, I will defer to your psychiatric knowledge. Let’s see if he will sign his control over to me,” Kelly said.
“Very good! Kelly, you know in your heart that you're doing the right thing for Brian’s mental health!” Amanda said.
“I hope so!” Kelly said softly.
“Well, now that little matter is settled,
let’s have some more drinks and some dinner.” Then Amanda smiled and lifted her glass and said, “Here's to Mr. Murphy, our happiest mental patient!”
Kelly lifted her glass and said, “may he never regret his decision!”